escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
