my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
