i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
