That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
