Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
did i just pee glitter
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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