She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
