yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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