Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
did i just pee glitter
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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