just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
