I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
