this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
