I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why can't burritos get me drunk
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
