Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Blood and glitter go together right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
