I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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