A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He did a backflip because drugs
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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