So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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