giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
