i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
