Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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