He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
