I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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