Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
