I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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