This girl is more easily done than said...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
home. puking in laundry basket.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
