her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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