it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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