She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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