My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
