do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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