I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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