I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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