i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
