tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How's work?
Spinning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
