: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize