Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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