scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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