WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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