Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just cropdusted the office
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
