considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
