omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
