Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
