i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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