He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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