Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
