so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
