Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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