we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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