The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
