i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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