so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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