Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
