Hey man sorry I got all grabby
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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