It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
