Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she peed on how many people?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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