His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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