I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
