I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
